About half an hour ago, I was in the midst of a bit of a hormonal-too much stuff going on-argh I’m freaking out-style teenage meltdown. I reckon it was brought on by a number of things, including a biology test on Friday, a physics test next week, a chemistry test in a couple of weeks, an ongoing geography GCSE controlled assessment (which makes up something terrifying like 25% of my overall GCSE) and a GCSE music composition which, scarily, I don’t have that much time left for. ARGHHH!
But I think this meltdown was actually kind of positive for me. A nice hug with my mum helped me realise that actually, a) I was putting waaaay too much pressure on myself, and b) everything was gonna be OK. It feels like I’ve got a whole mountain of work hovering above me, ready to topple over and crash down on top of me, but in reality, as soon as I’ve started tackling it it will start disappearing. Yay!
But I think the most important thing my mum said was something like this: you don’t have to be perfect all the time. And suddenly, it felt like it rang very, very true. I feel like I’m always trying to be absolutely perfect: hair looks good, skirt not too long but not too short, music composition practically finished and I’m obviously totally happy with it, top marks in every exam, geography controlled assessment progressing well, doing enough exercise, not eating too much chocolate, not using social media too much, not being uncool on Facebook…everything! But I’ve realised that you can’t get everything 100% right, and even more significantly, that you don’t need to. It’s OK to screw stuff up or not be completely happy with how you’ve done something or not get 99.9% in an exam (without revision, because what kind of dumb person has to revise? I’ll tell you who – ME! :)). And, in the words of Jessie J, it’s OK not to be OK. You’re allowed to cry, to stress, to turn into a big fat marshmallowy meltdown monster. It’s OK. Heck, it’s good to cry. It’s a release of tension, a way to let go of all the stress and anxiety caught up inside. Having had a nice good cry (whilst hugging a cushion because hey, what better way to bawl your eyes out?), I can physically feel that my shoulders have dropped. It’s a lovely feeling, to not only have left some of my problems behind, but to have confronted them and made up some sort of vague action plan for some of them, rather than just thinking ‘Oh, I’ll deal with that in the morning’.
I just Googled ‘quotes about not having to be perfect’, and one that caught my eye immediately was, ‘you were born to be real, not to be perfect’. Too damn right! Life is about getting by, getting the best out of every situation and keeping everything in perspective. I’m all for happiness – who isn’t? – but is the purpose of life really to be happy? If you’re never sad, you can never be happy. Take the rough with the smooth and enjoy life when it’s good, but don’t beat yourself up if it isn’t!
So yeah, this post was my little epiphany in a bit over 500 words. I hope it may have reassured a few of you!
Thank you for reading 🙂