Poetry 201: A Slightly Dubious Elegy & Poetry Potluck!

Here’s my submission for Friday’s assignment, a elegy about fog, preferable including a metaphor. Whilst I’m not entirely convinced it counts as an elegy, it’s definitely about fog! Also, does “pockets of light”count as a metaphor? Having a brain-is-busy-sunning-itself-on-a-beach-somewhere moment! For those that don’t know, an elegy is a poem typically written about missing something, and written in elegiac couplets, where the first line is longer than the second.

I found this challenge really difficult – probably the hardest so far – so I’m pretty pleased I managed to get anything out, even if it isn’t officially an elegy! It’s about glasses fogging up as you enter a warm room, and was one of the suggestions the Daily Post gave us. It’s certainly one that I can relate to!

A sudden blindness, my vision completely obscured

Pockets of light start to appear

I feel lost, abandoned and vulnerable, a sense down

Slowly, the clouds clear

I peer through the gaps, colours and shapes materialising through the grey

Then it’s gone

Finally, reinforcements have arrived

Normality, as well as my eyesight, has been restored

As always, feel free to drop me a line in the comments with your feedback and suggestions for improvements 🙂

Although the weekend is free time for participants to catch up and generally have a break from poetry, there was an informal assignment, ‘Poetry Potluck’, encouraging us to share our favourite pieces of poetry. I’ve chosen two pieces, the first of which is ‘Steam In The Kettle’ by Charles Causley. Here’s the last verse, as it’s quite a long poem:

Fume and mist

And steam and smoke –

You never heard

A word I spoke;

But till the seven seas

Stop their flow

And the wheeling world

Is turned to snow,

I’ll ask you what

I want to know:

Where do you come from

And where do you go?

I just love the way he’s made a whole poem about something as simple as steam. I first came across it in Year 5, when I had to take an English Speaking Board exam through school. We had to memorise and perform a poem, give a presentation and read aloud a book extract, and this was the poem I chose. Unfortunately, I can remember very little of it now, pretty much just ‘Steam in the kettle, steam in the pan’…

My second choice is ‘How Can I?’ by Brian Moses. I discovered this when I chose the Oxford Book of Children’s Poetry as my school prize several years ago…it’s quite lighthearted and I think it will appeal to teenagers! However, it does make you consider how many metaphors we regularly use in real life though…

How can I wind up my brother

when I haven’t got the key?

How can I turn on my charm

when I can’t even find the switch?

How can I snap at my mother

when I’m not a crocodile?

How can I stir up my sister

when I’m not even holding a spoon?

How can I pick up my feet

and not fall to the ground on my knees?

How can I stretch my legs

when they’re long enough already?

Parents!-They ask the impossible!

– Brian Moses

Haha, I love it. If you like that poem, I would also recommend you check out ‘Granny Smith: Best Before Feb 21’ by John Corben.

Congratulations and thanks for struggling through such a long post!



3 thoughts on “Poetry 201: A Slightly Dubious Elegy & Poetry Potluck!

  1. Appletaile says:

    I admit I had no idea what an elegy was until you told me, but I like it anyway. (Also: the new social media buttons are simply awesome. It looks to me like half of them have been cut off, though?? I don’t know, it might be my odd computer *pats monitor affectionately/irritably*


    • An Overthinking Teenager says:

      Glad you like the poem and buttons! Yeah, didn’t think many people would be familiar with elegys… is that how you spell the plural? *shrugs*. Yeah, the buttons were half cut off, stupid WordPress(/me). Hopefully I’ve sorted it now though, thanks for telling me! 🙂


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